Introverts: Listen to the quiet voices in a loud world

On the surface, project management favours the extrovert. That leaves many introverts having to fake it and suffer the consequences. Isn’t it time things changed so introverts can just be themselves? Dave Waller reports.

Natalie Talbot remembers her first day in project management very clearly. It was 2019, and she’d arrived at a role in digital transformation from a role in biochemistry. “Four years up to my elbows in Chinese hamster ovary cells,” as she described it. Her new colleagues enjoyed telling their peers about her PhD. What they didn’t know was that Talbot was an introvert. She felt embarrassed by all the attention and wished she could meet everyone on her own terms. “It made me feel really uncomfortable having people sing my praises,” she says. “Please don’t draw attention to me. That’s not who I am. I’m here to blend in and figure out how I do this.”

What is an introvert?

The term introvert means different things to different people. One definition, popularised recently by author Simon Sinek, is that introverts are depleted by social stimulation, while extroverts are fuelled by it. A more nuanced take is that introverts get their energy from controlled interaction, in balance with solitude. In a 2021 YouGov survey, 50% of the UK identified as introverts, with 9% saying they were ‘very introverted’. Introverts have, of course, played a huge role in shaping our world. Their number includes Bill Gates, JK Rowling, Albert Einstein and Elon Musk, to name just a few famous examples.

They’re also very common in project management – although that may not be so obvious. Talbot, who now works as a project management consultant for Alchemmy in Bristol, is among those introverted project professionals who feel the job demands they bury their true nature and play a role. “There’s an accidental bias towards project managers having to be this shiny extrovert,” she says. “I’ve become very good at slipping the mask on. As a consultant, I have to be bubbly and show interest in small talk, and then deliver whatever I’m on site to deliver. Chest up, smile on, off we go. And when I get back in the car, I slump into myself, breathe out, and think: ‘I’m bloody knackered’,” she says.

Forced to be someone you are not

Five years ago Alex Constantine was a project management professional struggling with the role. His manager at the time felt that Constantine’s best hope of progressing his career didn’t lie in amplifying his own strengths. “I had a boss who tried to get me to do everything like him,” says Constantine, who describes himself as having a social battery that’s easily depleted. “And because of that, I found it very difficult to handle the stakeholder engagement needed to progress in project management – such as presenting solutions to problems, and trying to influence people to take a particular path.”

Constantine spent 15 months trying find a more suitable role, including over two months out of work, because his CV also emphasised skills and traits project professionals expected him to have, not the ones he did. “Project managers are expected to take charge,” says Constantine, who now works as a consultant at PCubed. “People don’t understand that there are different ways to engage. And that if a non‑extrovert finds the right way of doing things, they can still achieve the same outcomes. I had to learn that.”

One issue for Talbot, Constantine and their fellow introverts is that the working world doesn’t readily present them with the space to do things differently. “The modern workplace requires a lot of putting yourself out there,” Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking, has said. “And that can push introverts out of their comfort zones.” Indeed, popular workplace wisdom holds that idea‑generation, decision‑making and problem‑solving are group activities. So we often end up with open‑plan offices, hot‑desking, and endless meetings and Zoom calls. Going beyond the comfort zone is one thing; it’s when you do it too much, and have to maintain the mask, that can cause stress and fatigue.

“It’s challenging if you find yourself trying to adapt to a norm,” says Linus Jonkman, who wrote Introvert: The friendly takeover. “People tend to look at personalities and behaviours as being synonymous, but they are in fact very different concepts. Your personality is your gut feeling: when you step into a room full of people, will you be overwhelmed by all the faces? Or is it where you feel most at home?”

Taking a bold tack

Rachel Jackson is an introverted project manager who has worked on large defence, rail and nuclear projects. One role involved regular meetings that often descended into a dozen people talking over each other. They included Jackson’s superior, who was also her predecessor in the role, the person who employed her and very extroverted. (“I think he went to Vegas in a cowboy suit for his stag do,” she says). Jackson would often struggle to express herself in the meeting, and the two would end up bickering.

This is a common issue for introverts. Certain people tend to dominate meetings, especially in projects challenged by budgets or deadline pressures. People often resort to firefighting, which can overwhelm the quieter, more thoughtful approach. This breeds frustration when you’re unable to share your vision of what’s needed or you can see bad choices are being made but feel unable to object.

Jackson eventually decided to take the guy out for a coffee and a chat. She explained why the group meetings weren’t functioning and told him what was actually happening in her part of the business – news she hadn’t been able to get across in the meetings. She’d even brought written notes. “Because I’m an introvert, I’d gone away and strategised,” says Jackson. “I checked my notes as we were talking. That may seem a little bit over the top, but it kept me on track.” Her bold strategy worked. She’d shifted the work climate to suit her. She now had somebody in her corner, and those meetings became much more aligned and productive. “He said he found it really helpful, because he actually learned about what was going on,” says Jackson, who’s currently working on a project at Manchester Airport. “At the end, he said he respected me for having that conversation, because a lot of people wouldn’t. It had a real positive outcome.”

The power of introverts

As well as thriving at autonomous, detailed and considered tasks like generating dashboard reports and updating risk logs and dependencies, introverts tend to be adept at building deep and lasting one‑to‑one relationships. They can bring greater self‑awareness, spending more time in self‑reflection, which can extend out to developing lessons learned that are authentic and impactful. And they are often skilled at tailoring their communication styles. Jonkman suggests introverts may be more suited to the modern form of leadership, which favours psychological safety, candour, vulnerability and listening, over telling people what to do. Cain, meanwhile, believes introverted leaders get better results from proactive teams than extroverts, because they’re able to draw them out.

“Introverts solicit other people’s thoughts and are more likely to let those employees run with their good ideas,” she has said. “They allow the best ideas to reach the light of day.” It’s worth noting that no one is suggesting introversion is inherently better than extroversion, or vice versa. Successful projects require people to complete a range of tasks, which will vary in whom they suit best. Extroverts need to act more introverted when they sit down to write a report, and introverts have to stretch themselves when networking or in meetings. The best teams will comprise a blend of personality types. “Introverts and extroverts need each other, depend on each other,” Cain has said. “When they understand each other and work together respectfully, look out world – you see yin and yang at its best.”

Managing your introversion

For Talbot, who spent those first weeks of her project management career remaining very quiet in meetings, change came thanks to a mentor. He took her to one side, told her he’d seen how good her work and opinions were, and that she needed to speak up. “I started doing it more and more, and realised the world doesn’t end if somebody disagrees, or if I step beyond my comfort zone, ask a question and my face goes red,” she says. “I’m able to more consciously push through it now.”

Constantine, meanwhile, recalls a job interviewer who spotted he had more to offer than his CV suggested, and took time to point that out. Finding his own way involved a lot of soul‑searching. “It’s about learning to accept the person you are,” he says. “Since I worked that out, I’ve had quite a lot of success and managed to progress in my career. Now I set everything up in a way that helps me to succeed.”

While a huge part of work lies in pushing beyond your comfort zone to try new things, the trick lies in building the parameters and boundaries that give you the energy you need, to do your best for yourself and the project. “It’s within your gift to do things your way and to mix things up,” says Talbot. “It’s about understanding when we can go rogue, do things our way – and take a bit more time.”

Five tips for introverts running projects

Instead of fearing big meetings, approach people one-to-one first, gathering viewpoints and establishing a consensus in advance. How you visualise and document what you need, and how you brief everyone to get them up to speed, is just as important.

Take time. When hosting meetings and workshops, prepare for different eventualities. Try to predict the tone, and pre-empt any challenging aspects. Ask for time to think in other people’s meetings too. Tell them you have some ideas brewing, and that you’ll come back to them later.

Don’t wait for the perfect words. Introverts can tend towards overthinking and perfectionism. Susan Cain has said that, to prevent this becoming a block, “we have to err on the side of talking before we feel ready. It will probably go better than you think.”

Create boundaries. Block out time in your diary that looks like meetings, but is actually a period of focused, undisturbed work.

Embrace the challenge. Build work around your own needs, but enjoy the moments that push you beyond your comfort zone too, as that’s where you’ll grow.